Alone
by Yuki Scorpio
Summary: A shepherd sets his sheep free...


**Alone**

Oshitari can't really remember when they started to address each other by their given names. He thinks it may have been during one of their private matches, those they didn't let their coach know about because there were always a winner and a loser and Atobe had said he didn't want him to be dropped from the tennis team. Not that it mattered then, club activities had already stopped because of their upcoming exams.

Yes, it was one of those matches. They were talking rather casually about something quite insignificant at first as they volleyed, Oshitari up at the net and Atobe at the service line. Atobe said he must practice his net skills because in doubles he would be at the net half the time and couldn't rely on Gakuto, and although Oshitari thought he didn't always play doubles and the team had practically dissolved because of the exams, he did the practice anyway because there was always truth in Atobe's words.

And then they were talking about Gakuto and he knew what was coming, only Atobe didn't ask for the details and just said simply, "I want my first doubles in top form by Christmas, _Yuushi_." There could be no doubt as to what Atobe knew and meant, calling him the way Gakuto always did.

The net practice ended, Atobe caught the ball and they backed into position, warmed up and ready for a match. Oshitari stood at the base line, ready to receive Atobe's serve. One foot behind another, Atobe bounced the ball on the ground several times, then looked at Oshitari sharply. Oshitari realised Atobe was waiting for a response.

"I'll do my best, _Keigo_."

An amused smile broke on Atobe's face, and the match began.

* * *

It is a strange city, grim and unwelcoming and graced with the most beautiful and ugly things. The people speak a tongue he can barely understand and, most importantly, everything is slow, as if grinding to a halt. 

Oshirtari doesn't know why he is here or to be precise, why Atobe told him to come along. But at 18, he and many others still follow Atobe like a herd of good sheep. And he suspects he will still do this at 80.

Atobe has some business to take care of for his father. Oshitari wanders around for the morning and let himself be absorbed by the city. It isn't difficult. With its grey sky and bare trees and whispers of icy wind, it is a lonely city. He buys a coffee and goes into a park, and sits down on one of the benches by the lake. At around lunch time, the mobile phone Atobe has given him rings. His friend asks him where he is.

Oshitari tells him the location and ends the call. He wraps the scarf around himself better. It will be a while before Atobe gets here; the park is huge. He imagines Atobe will call him again later and say with a flustered voice that they will - not should - meet somewhere else.

Oshitari doesn't like this city. Atobe has brought him here, so he can at least annoy him a little as pay back. He can have much better things to do than to spend his Christmas vacation in this place.

He frowns. He sounded like Gakuto just now.

The phone doesn't ring again, to Oshitari's surprise. He is checking to see if the battery has run out when Atobe appears by his side, hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat, cheeks slightly flushed from the cold and breath misting a few inches from his face.

"Come." Atobe says, and they navigate their way out of the park. Half an hour later they enter a fancy-looking glass building, one that Gakuto would no doubt point at and say "Yuushi! Look!". Atobe speaks with the receptionist. After a while somebody not much older than them comes and shows them around.

After that they flag down a black cab. And again after that, each time getting a tour around a building. Atobe says it's something for his father, there is one more to go to tomorrow but that'll be all.

At night they go clubbing. Oshitari can't remember ever hearing Atobe laugh so loud that it sounds more like a hollow echo to his ears.

When they return to the hotel, they each get the key to their own room. Atobe has paid for everything. He needs some place and someone to spend his money on or he'd go crazy, Oshitari thinks.

"Yuushi."

Oshitari opens his door and turns around to face Atobe. "What?"

"What do you think?" Atobe asks and he doesn't look half as high as he was half an hour ago. "About this place."

Oshitari just wants to drop into the bed and pass out, but summoning a bit of patience, which Atobe always deserves, he replies. "Gloomy. Cold. Soulless. There's a nice park, but other than that, everything's fucked up here." Perhaps he shouldn't say so much before knowing the purpose of the question, but he's said it now. "Why?"

Atobe leans on his closed door and doesn't answer. After a while Oshitari decides he has waited long enough but just before he succumbs to the calling of his hotel bed, Atobe speaks again.

"Are you going to sleep now?"

"Yes, it's been a long day." Oshitari sighs. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Goodnight."

* * *

The next day they visit the last place on Atobe's list. Oshitari doesn't pay any more attention to it than he did to the places the day before. 

Later they pass by a sports shop. Atobe looks surprised when Oshitari makes a sudden turn and goes inside, but follows anyway, a curious look on his face. Pointing at a pair of trainers on display, Oshitari asks an assistant for a pair in size 7. Once he gets them he takes them out of the box, puts a hand inside to feel around, checks them, then he takes them to the cashier.

"You don't need to try them on?" Atobe asks as Oshitari pays by cash.

"They're for Gakuto."

"Ah."

"He really wanted them but couldn't get them in Japan."

Oshitari takes the change, receipt and the trainers with its box and bag, and they leave the store, pushing their way against the last-minute Christmas shoppers like salmon against the current. Atobe curses once under his breath.

"But have you spoken to him yet?" He asks when they get out and Oshitari shakes his head. "It's been three weeks."

"Four." And it had been something trivial to begin with. The more time Oshitari spends thinking about it, the more he knows that for once, he is the one who has screwed up. And he has screwed up big time. If he had been Gakuto, he isn't sure if he would be able to hold back enough to announce a cool-down time, like Gakuto has done, rather than demand a break-up.

He needs to do something about it, of course. First he needs to apologise.

They turn a corner and Atobe leads them into the first cafe they can find.

"What do you think about the colleges we've seen?"

Oshitari's gaze shifts from the bag with the shoebox to Atobe. He hasn't even realised those were colleges. Now that he thinks about it, there were rooms that seem like libraries and lecture halls.

"I didn't really pay much attention during the tours. Why?"

"My father wants to make an investment into one of them. I just need to decide which one."

"Nothing to do with me, Keigo." Eyes glance at the shoebox again. Gakuto would love them. Perhaps he can give them to him and apologise at the same time. Would that work? It has to.

They finish their teas and toasted paninis in silence. When Oshitari puts his cup down he notices his friend is staring at him, an unreadable look on his face.

"Sorry about just now." He says. Perhaps Atobe is under a lot of pressure from his family; he can't ever remember seeing Atobe ask for suggestion or advice on anything. But investments? How should he know anything about it? He hadn't even paid any attention because Atobe didn't mention it in the beginning. "I'm just not the kind of person you want to ask."

Atobe smirks a little, waves the waitress over and pays. Oshitari runs his palm over the bag that contains his gift for Gakuto, wondering if this and his apology will be enough. He looks up when the transaction is done, and finds Atobe staring again, looking almost angry. He flinches; he must have looked quite idiotic just now.

He holds back the stupid urge to clutch his bag of shopping tight when they leave. Atobe walks off for a while to make some phonecalls and he waits, already used to this. Atobe doesn't carry around five mobile phones for no reason. At a young age he already helps out with his family business a lot.

When Atobe comes back, they wait for a while to get a cab.

"Do you have your passport on you?" Atobe suddenly asks as the cab pulls over. "And cash?"

Surprised by the questions, Oshitari says that yes, he has his passport and he has enough money for them to get back to the hotel. Atobe frowns, gets out his own wallet and shoves a small bundle of money at his friend.

"Go home and get those bloody shoes to Gakuto." Atobe has just got his flight arranged. Oshitari will take the cab to the airport and take the early evening flight home. Don't worry about the things at the hotel. Give him the room key and he will get them sent back by courier.

That sheep metaphor was quite good, Oshitari thinks as he is herded into the taxi by Atobe, still trying to figure out what on Earth is going on. Atobe tells him to hurry up otherwise he'll miss the flight, and have a good Christmas.

But doesn't that mean Atobe will be spending Christmas alone in this foreign city?

"I've still got things to do. Not going back for Christmas. Good luck, Oshitari."

The cab drives off when Atobe shuts the door, turning a corner right away so that Oshitari can't see his friend anymore. Why did Atobe switch back to using his family name just now?

When Oshitari gets to the airport, he realises he hasn't said Happy Christmas to Atobe. Taking out the phone his friend has given him, he dials the number. It doesn't work, so he dials the other one. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one.

All five of Atobe's phones have been switched off.

* * *

With the amount of abuse Gakuto puts them through, the trainers still hold pretty well after three weeks of being worn everywhere Gakuto went, including the Christmas party that was supposed to be black-tie and a small trip to the hills where steel-toed boots would have been much more suitable. Gakuto isn't the type to put something behind lock and take it out to look at every now and then. He treasures something by using and enjoying it. Oshitari likes that about him. 

Gakuto keeps asking Oshitari where he got the shoes from and Oshitari doesn't tell. It's a gift, from him as well as Atobe but he doesn't think anyone needs to know that little detail.

Atobe doesn't come back for Christmas and Oshitari can't get hold of him. When he calls Atobe's home, all the servant has to say is "Keigo-san isn't in Japan at the moment. Would you like to leave a message?"

"Tell him to call Yuushi. Thanks."

Atobe doesn't call back. Christmas vacation ends in a blink. Oshitari and Gakuto go back to school, ready for their exams, to discover Atobe has gone to study overseas. He isn't coming back.

Oshitari stands in the classroom, stupefied. Beside him, Gakuto rolls his eyes in thought and says it makes sense, what's the point in going through the January university entrance exams when he's already got a place elsewhere?

"But don't classes there start in September, October? What's the hurry, he could've at least said goodbye first. Na, Yuushi?"

Oshitari nods absently, remembering Atobe's questions and the way he pushed him into the cab, telling him to "get those bloody shoes to Gakuto." and how he wished him a happy Christmas, saying that he won't be back for Christmas because he's got things to do.

He remembers that grim city and how he hated the place because his soul had echoed with it, his loneliness resonated with the place and he became a part of it, it absorbed him, nearly swallowed him whole.

He imagines Atobe alone in that city, and he reaches for Gakuto's hand, clutching it tight.

-end-


End file.
